“Helsinki feels like a hug”: Nick’s happy Helsinki
Helsinki has a vibrant culture of consensual touch, says IT consultant Nick Lukkonen, who moved to the city from Minnesota, USA. He practises tantra and pro wrestling, takes part in cuddle puddles and indulges in ecstatic dance. “Masculinity can take many forms, and it’s fascinating to explore them with different people. Helsinki allows me to do all of this.”
Read the fascinating story of Nick’s Helsinki.
Helsinki brings out new sides in people
“Would you like a hug?” Nick Lukkonen, 46, offers outside the Amos Rex museum in central Helsinki. The passer-by hesitates for a moment, then nods. For a brief moment, two winter coats press together and arms wrap around a stranger.
Nick and seven other members of Mush Helsinki give out dozens of hugs over the course of the afternoon. As they part, people often look each other in the eyes for a moment longer.
“I don’t think I would behave this way if I still lived in the US,” Nick admits. Since moving to Helsinki, the IT specialist has discovered new sides to himself.
Free hugs on the street and cuddle puddles in Töölö
This was Nick’s first time taking part in a Free Hugs event. But cuddle puddles are a weekly activity for him.
A cuddle puddle is a group setting where often-strangers gather to lie down close to one another for three hours. It’s a carefully facilitated practice aimed at platonic, non-sexual touch.
Sometimes, as Nick gently strokes the arm of the person next to him, they might fall asleep – or he might doze off himself.
“Resting together leads to a deeper state of relaxation, because when people are close, their nervous systems co-regulate.”
In Helsinki, you can join these cuddle sessions weekly at Hyvinvointikeskus Hetki in Töölö, through the Mush Helsinki group.
In Helsinki, you can try almost anything
Nick has discovered a wealth of physically engaging hobbies in his new home city, many of which involve close contact with others. He has found homes in pro wrestling, tantra events, and Ritual Play, a method based on improvised interaction. When he has time, he plays Gaelic football and loves roller derby.
“I enjoy physicality, attuned interaction, and creating connection. I’ve been surprised by how many opportunities there are to explore these things in a city the size of Helsinki.”
“I like using my body and learning new things. I’m especially drawn to activities where there’s real contact between people – they all have that in common,” Nick says.
Rediscovering roots in Helsinki
Nick Lukkonen moved to Helsinki from Minnesota with his family in 2016. His first job was as a consultant helping to renew the Finnish Tax Administration’s IT system.
“It was pretty special to end up in Helsinki, of all places – my family roots are Finnish.”
Nick had never visited the homeland of his great-grandparents before. He’s not exactly sure when his relatives emigrated – probably in the early 1900s. He doesn’t speak Finnish, but a certain sense of Finnishness has always been part of his identity.
“My mother always baked sweet Finnish pulla at Christmas, and we were big on going to the sauna.”
His first impression of Helsinki was one of comfort and familiarity. The city felt like just the right size.
“When you can almost see the next metro stations from Central Railway Station, you realise the city isn’t too big.”
The nature in Helsinki also felt familiar to Nick – after all, Minnesota has snowy winters too.
Sport builds friendships and community
In the US, Nick had played Gaelic football. In Helsinki, he offered to join the Helsinki Harps, a team founded by Irish players.
After training, at The Woolshed bar in the city centre, teammates introduced him to local Australian footballers who also had space on their team.
Later, Nick slipped into a pair of roller skates and hit the roller derby track. What captivates him in this fast-paced game isn’t just the speed, but also the fact that you get to slam into other players with your whole body.
And when you choose niche sports, things can happen just like they did for Nick. He quickly became one of the best players in Finland. He’s even helped organise international tournaments for these sports in Helsinki.
“I recommend anyone moving to Helsinki to join a sports team – it’s an amazing way to make friends.”
Those same friends have been there for each other when unexpected problems arise – whether it’s help with moving house or a shoulder to lean on after a breakup.
“All it takes is a message, and someone will show up,” Nick says gratefully.
Nick is curious, social, and open to new experiences. When a friend invited him to try pro wrestling, he couldn’t think of a single reason to say no. In the sport, participants practise dramatic-looking combat scenes – but every move is carefully planned and done with mutual consent.
In Helsinki, Nick found his own masculinity
Lately, Nick has been reflecting on what masculinity and being a man mean to him.
“I hope people feel at ease around me. That’s why I try to make space for others and make sure everyone can take part in their own way.”
Nick values a kind of masculinity that includes the ability to show vulnerability and insecurity. To him, that’s the kind of presence that feels steady and safe for everyone.
Masculinity can also be something to play around with. Once a week, Nick throws his opponent around in the wrestling ring, whips his long hair, and roars with a puffed-up chest like a Viking.
In pro wrestling, every move is agreed upon in advance and rehearsed many times.
“It requires 100% focus and mutual trust to dare to do those pretty dangerous stunts.”